Friday, April 26, 2013

Fluffy Thing Fridays - Baby Elephants


Baby Elephants are adorable.  They're kinda clumsy, weight as much as a Smart Car and have awesome ears.

What more could you want from an animal?

Apparently what's even cuter is that baby Elephants need contact and like to cuddle.

If you haven't seen it, check out the documentary "Born to be Wild" check it out.  It follows 2 women who in their own ways have done huge amounts of work for animal conservation.  One working with orphaned Elephants and the other Orangutangs. 

In the baby Elephant sections they talk about the babies getting depressed and scared.  They have problems sleeping the their keepers stay with them all night staying on little cots next to them.


Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

But seriously.  They're adorable.

I love the fluff on their heads.

Awww it must be exhausting being that big and cute.

And yeah they are kinda goofy acting.

Like REALLY goofy.

Keeper cuddles!!!!  This made me squee.

No joke.  I want to cuddle a baby Elephant now.

Adorable right?


Cheers,

Ash


Btw guys, I don't support the circus.  Elephants are treated horribly and they are very sensitive animals as you can tell.  It's not cool.  Not cool at all.  I mean go watch Dumbo.  If it doesn't make you cry then you probably didn't care when Bambi's mom got shot.

And if you haven't already seen this.  Watch it.



So guys I wrote this post yesterday before I got some really shitty fire related news last night.  Last week my landlord had contacted me telling me they were terminating my lease because they had to do extensive wall repairs to my unit.  I talked to the Landlord Tenant Board and they said termination of lease has to be accompanied by 120 days notice.  Well guess what, my landlord found a technicality that in my lease it states that in the case of an emergency they can repossess the unit immediately to secure it and make the necessary repairs.  So that means I have to move back home to my parents house this weekend.  Thank God I have somewhere to go but as you can imagine I pretty much feel like my world is destroyed as I have no idea how I'm going to get to and from my job for the foreseeable future as my parents live in an outer suburb of Toronto and I don't own a car anymore.  All in all, I'm trying to keep a smile on my face saying it can't get any worse but honestly, that's what I thought when I had 120 days to find an apartment.  Guess what, it just got worse. 

Friday, April 19, 2013

Fluffy Thing Fridays - Proof That God Has a Sense of Humour

Yup, you guessed it.  We're talking the Platypus.

Why? Because I needed something to cheer me up.  That's WHY!!

Ok, no it's because we're already done the Otter, and I've recently done the Beaver so why wouldn't I do a duck-billed, beaver-tailed, otter-footed PLATYPUS.

Btw....plural of Platypus is Platipi but seriously, I want to say Platypusses.

Look at that little leathery bill!

  
This has to be the most awesome looking mammal EVER. 


And here comes the cuteness.

Twin Platypusses (OK, OK, Platypi).  So leathery looking.  So squinty.  So cute.


So tiny.  Napping.  Holding his little tail.  Too cute.


Back to the twins.  Love their little nostrils too.  


So yes, they may look like God was on crack when he designed them but honestly.  They're cute in a goofy cute kinda way. 

Cheers,

Ash

I'm actually surprised my cat has never managed to do this before. 

Thursday, April 18, 2013

My Life Has Turned Into A Shit Storm Of Epic Proportions

The title of this post pretty much sums it up.

So as you know, there was a fire in my apartment building on March 20th.  4 units were pretty severely damaged because a stupid woman on the floor below me left a candle lit on her bedside table and then decided to have a bath.  She got out of the bath to find her entire bedroom up in flames.

FUN!

I went through weeks of cleaning, repairs, more cleaning, having to pack up almost everything I own because every surface needed to be treated for smoke damage. 

Then there was an itty bitty crack in my bathroom plaster that resulted into a gaping abyss.

Then my bathroom light went wonky and I've been showering to the glow of a camping lantern for the last week.

Seriously, I couldn't make this shit up.

But yesterday things went from inconvenient to an utter Shit Storm.

Of EPIC Proportions.

I got a call from my building management that the unit next to me is one of the one's heavily damaged (they were almost directly above the fire so no surprise to my).  What was a surprise was that they are terminating my lease early because the repairs require them to rip down the adjoining wall between our units.  That wall happens to be my entire kitchen and part of my living room.

I need more details at this point in regards to how much time they legally need to provide me with to get out, as well as what their proposed plan is.

But bottom line, I need a new apartment and I need it like tomorrow.

Add on that I'm on a budget, live alone and don't want to, ya know, get shot on my walk home from work puts me in a very awkward position.

I kinda had a bit of a freaking out crying breakdown last night because I am utterly out of my depths and don't know what to do.  I'm hoping that people give notice May 1st that they are moving out and availabilities will crop up because right now there's nothing on the market I can afford or am willing to subject myself to.

I've emailed a few property managers to see if they will consider giving me approval priority on the chance that something becomes available May 1st on the hopes they will contact me before the listing goes public.  But that depends on people being caring and sympathetic to my situation.

I don't know what else to do honestly.

My worst case scenario is to put my stuff in storage and live with my parents for a few months till I can find a place but that's going to result in me either having to buy a car (no ideal) or dealing with a 2 hour commute each way from the Suburbs to the City.

Think happy thoughts people.  I need all the help I can get for the next month or so.

Cheers,

Ash

This is kinda how I feel at the moment. 


Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Is It Spring Yet? Yes? No? Not Sure? WTF Nature?!?!

Last time I checked April showers brought May flowers right?

Well so far no flowers but we have had snow.  And rain.  And hail.  And I think SOME sunshine.

I get it, this time of year weather can be unpredictable. 

But enough already.  I never know what coat to wear.  Rain coat, sweater, parka? Or if I need an umbrella or snow boots.

Don't even get me going on clothes.  I've come to the conclusion that layers are my friend.  I can take a sweater or scarf off if it warms up at least.

Ha! This makes my inner tech dork giggle.
It's the back and forth that really gets me.  I mean right now it's about 5C going up to 11C.  That's about 40F and 50F for you crazy Americans.  But tomorrow it's going to be about 20C (70F) plus humidity.  Then on Saturday it's going back down to -2C (28F-ish). 

That's some drastic shit, even for Toronto in the spring.

And all I have to say is WTF nature.  Pick a season.  If it's still winter, it sucks but I can deal with it.  I mean I can plan for winter.  I'm Canadian.  I can hack it.  But what I can't hack is all this back and forth. 

One day hot, one day cold, one day rain, one day snow, one day a plague of locusts.

Enough.

Cheers,

Ash

 

This made me laugh more than is probably appropriate. 

Friday, April 12, 2013

Fluffy Thing Fridays - My Canadian Roots and Post #100!!

Yup you read that right.  This is my 100th post.

YAY!!

To celebrate I'm embracing my Canadian roots and introducing all my foreign readers (and yes by foreign I mean you Americans too) to the wonderful world of Beavers.

They're our national symbol, they're on our money and honestly they kick ass.  I mean what other animal is capable of creating anything big enough to impact the ecosystem and be seen from Google Earth.  I mean dam (full pun intended).


Have I also mentioned that they're kinda adorable?


Like seriously adorable.  Look at that little tail and those little webbed feet.


Aww he's waving!


The little hands.  The little feet.  The little tail.  Honestly it's just too much.


Even the adults are cute with their awesome tails.


This person is living the dream.  Baby beaver hanging out in their bathtub.  If you've been following these posts then by now you realize that if it was up to me I'd have baby penguins, baby otters and baby beavers hanging out in my bath tub.


So there we are.  Beavers.  Nature's little chainsaws.

Cheers,

Ash

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

If Men Were Like Underwear

OMG I haven't done one of these is a while.  But here we go....

We've done candles.  We've done dogs.  Last time we did cars and now finally.  UNDERWEAR.  Not just any underwear.  But ladies underwear.

Let me clarify that by underwear I'm not just talking panties.  Oh no.  We're going for the whole nine yards here.


The Thong Man

Let's face it.  He makes you a tad uncomfortable.  I'm talking the kind of guy that says things that aren't necessarily RUDE but at the same time, get your hackles up a bit.  You know the comments that  are a compliment and yet an insult at the same time?  Just enough that there's always SOMETHING in the back of your mind bugging you.

The Push-up Bra Man

Face it this guy just runs around screaming LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME!!  He's all style no substance.  Flashy upfront to distract you from the fact that he probably lacks both a personality and or a brain.  I mean he serves his purpose as arm candy but in the end, he's vapid and unable to fix your car if you get a flat tire out of fear of ruining his manicure.

The Garter Belt Man

This dude just tries WAY too hard.  He always has those cheesy cliche things to say that you're pretty sure he's said to a million other women.  He's got an act and it's so comfortable to him that he can play it out without thinking.  The right thing, at the right moment all the time.  Like all he has to do is pull out a prescribed formula of things and BOOM you're sucked in. 

The Control Top Pantyhose Man

This guy takes himself  way too seriously.  I mean come on.  He works that much harder than everyone around him to the point where it drives you crazy but do you really see any benefit?  I mean why all the extra effort for very little results?

The Granny Panty Man

This is your best guy friend and/or the boyfriend you've had for so long that you no longer have any shame around him.  Think comfort.  Think casual.  Probably too casual.  He probably farts and scratches his balls in front of you at this point. Neither of you have any shame at this point in your relationship.

The Boyshort Man

He's stylish but fun.  Cute but sexy.   Doesn't take himself too seriously and honestly he's flexible.  Take him to a party or take him to the mall.  It's all good.


Cheers,

Ash



Tuesday, April 9, 2013

I Just Want My House Back To NORMAL

I feel like all I've been writing about recently is fire and fluffy things. 

Fire
Fluffy Things
Fire
Fluffy Things
OMGWTFBBQ DOES IT NEVER END?!?!?!

Well fluffy things of course should never end because duh, fluffy things rock.

But sadly my life pretty still much revolves around what needs to be done post fire.  My front door is still a patched gong show that looks like a stiff breeze could knock it in but today YAY, the plaster in my bathroom was finally going to be fixed.

Pre-fire, there developed a crack in my bathroom ceiling.  2 years earlier the woman above me flooded her bathroom and it poured through her floors and damaged my ceiling.  They fixed it at the time but I'm sure all the extra moisture in the plaster did more than superficial damage.  So the crack got bigger and bigger till finally little chunks of plaster started to fall on my head ever time I took a shower.

I put a notice in to my superintendent but I'm sure with all the chaos it totally got forgotten about.

Till today.

I got notice last night that not only were they inspecting my place post fire clean-up, but that they were testing the fire alarms in all the units and someone would be by to fix my plaster.

YAY!!

What looked like a simple crack in the ceiling turned into THIS:


Holy crap on a cracker right?

So the awesome repair dude wanted to investigate.  He said it looked like the plaster was starting to warp which considering the flood was 2 years ago shouldn't be happening.  So after he ripped a MASSIVE hole open in my ceiling and wall, he had my super go upstairs to the apartment above me and splash water all over their tiles. 

And guess what?  Their tiles are leaking badly into the walls which is trickling down and fucking up my bathroom ceiling.

Solution?  Tomorrow they're going to re-tile their shower area.  Let it dry and come back maybe on Friday to fix my plaster. 

So for the rest of the week I get to shower with this over my head.


Sounds like fun right?

Ug.  And did I mention that when the repair guy first showed up, he flipped on my bathroom light only for the fixture to pop and short out?  He ended up having to replace my light switch.  Oh and apparently the taps in my tub drip because the tiles they used in my bathroom are too thick and the handles can't quite shut the flow of water off. 

These are both issues that I've reported before and their solution has always only been to replace my light bulb in the bathroom and tighten the knobs in my tub. 

FINALLY someone is doing their job and looking at the root cause.  But really, could nothing else break for a while?  Please?  Cause I'd really REALLY like my life to get back to normal soon.

Cheers,

Ash


Friday, April 5, 2013

Fluffy Thing Fridays - Easter!

In retrospect this post should have been last week given that last Friday was, ya know, Good Friday and all.

If my brain had actually been functioning and not just going OMG FIRE WTF all the time it would have occurred to me.

But I figure better late than never.

Easter is an awesome holiday in that it usually means spring is here (except in Canada where we clearly didn't get the memo because it's been effing COLD).  And of course spring means baby animals.

And you know I love me some baby animals.

So without much further ado, here are some of Easter's best baby animals.

Easter isn't Easter without a bunny.  Look at the little nose, and those cute floppy ears.  
Bunnies are adorable and according to Cadbury they are the bringers of the almighty Cream Egg.
Works for me!!


This ball of Floof is an Angora rabbit.  You know, like the sweaters.
Yes there is actually a bunny in there under all the fluff.


Baby chicks.  I mean these little dudes are Peeps in real life.  
Swimming in the sink!!!
 It doesn't get better than this people.


Lambs.  Yes, like Bacon, I am never eating Lamb chops again because OMG look at that face!!!!

I seriously squee'd in real life when I saw this little dude.

Oh the things people do to their pets on holidays. 
 Kitty is like "Why do you hate me?"

 OMG so pissed off but so cute.


Seriously, where do I get a bunny onsie for my cat.  


I don't have words to express how much I love this. 
Kristee, you totally have to do this next year!!



Cheers,

Ash

I LOVE this picture.  And just the thought of this momma cat adopting these baby ducks makes me go all squishy in my heart.















Btw....I'm totally putting bunny ears on Jasper next year.