Monday, June 13, 2011

Mothers: Why they will always make you feel like a 13 year old girl

I spent this past weekend staying with my parents.  Since I moved out on my own, I try to make the effort to see them at least once a month and spend the weekend with them when I can.  What I realized during this specific weekend is that no matter how old I get, my mother will always be able to make me feel like a bratty 13 year old girl.

I'd say it is safe to assume that every daughter has had at least one good argument with their mother at some point in their lives. 

When you're 13, it's because your mum won't let you go out late on a school night.

When you're16, it's because your mum thinks the boy you're dating is inappropriate.

When you're 19, it's because your mum doesn't like your attitude.

Well when I was 13, I was a brat.  When I was 16, I was a brat with her first tattoo.  By the time I was 19, I was pretty much the kind of nightmare daughter that every mother wishes their daughter never becomes.

My mum and I argued every single day for what was probably close to 5 years. 

I drank, I smoked, I did drugs, I listened to heavy metal, I dated older guys, I skipped school, I got tattoos and on top of it all I was pretty much a smartass that didn't know when to keep her mouth shut. 

My father used to get so frustrated because he'd come home every day to hear me and my mother arguing. 

Honestly, I just wanted to go to school, go to my job, hang out with my friends and boyfriend and generally be left the hell alone. 

But noooooooooo.  My mother had to butt her nose into everything I did, and generally find something wrong with it.

Now, nobody can criticize you quite like your mother can.  And the same works in reverse.  You know better than anyone else one the planet exactly how to push your mothers buttons and get her pissed off at you in the blink of an eye. 

While home this weekend my mother mentioned to me that because I've been working extra hours recently, I should take a multi-vitamin because I'm probably not eating as well as I could.

My simple response was, "Mom, I already take a multi-vitamin."

To which she replied, "You probably just tell me that so I don't nag you."

Now smartass as I am, I of course shot back, "Well if I didn't take a multi-vitamin I probably would tell you I did just to get you off my case, but as it so happens, I DO take one."

This somehow resulted in my mother coming to the conclusion that I don't listen to her, I lie to her just to get her to leave me alone and that in general I am ruining my life.

WTF happened? 

I'm 27 years old. I don't need my mother to essentially remind me to eat my vegetables.

I eat my vegetables dammit!  And I happen to take a vitamin supplement already. 

See, she did it again.  In a matter of seconds I went from a perfectly rational adult to a bratty 13 year old stomping her foot and saying that she doesn't need her mum to tell her what to do.


It's like, have you ever bought something and then told your mother about it only to have her say.  "You didn't really NEED to spend that money did you?"


"No mother, I didn't but I wanted to and considering it's my ass that is stuck in the office 60 hours a week I'm going to damn well buy whatever I want."

"But if you don't save now, you're never going to be able to put your children through University."

What planet is my mother on and how exactly did we go from her kitchen table to the Twilight Zone where I have a husband and children I must support.

On a side note:  What did I buy you may ask?  It was a frickin' pair of shoes. Not $500 designer shoes but $70 shoes.  Not quite the kind of purchase that will bankrupt me and my future mythical offspring.

But I've deviated from the point of this blog.  Actually I've illustrated my point quite well.  My point being that mothers somehow have the ability to turn even the most astute responsible adult into a sniveling 13 year old brat. 

Despite everything, I love my mother to death.  Which is why I think we argue so well.